Jolene is in her crib crying for Frank Ocean. It breaks my heart to hear her wail but dang that girl has good taste.
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Happy Birthday to my amazing daughter. I’ve been thinking about her birth all day, thought I missed the 1:12 official time and didn’t realize it until past 3. I figured at that time two years ago, I was lying covered in goo gazing into pure love, just love concentrate. So I was thinking about that while j and I were sitting by the fire and she suggested that she lie down on the bricks, which are off limits, as they surround the woodstove. I suggested the rug, and she told me to lie down the rug, and that she would lie down on me. So there we were, a little longer (her) a little less weepy (me) and a little cleaner (both of us), but otherwise the same. Boiling over with love. Goodness I can’t believe my baby is two!
Not sure why I never published this one, but it’s interesting to me because now I am on winter break and although my mornings are chaotic in their own way, this chaos feels so far away. Anyone, this is from mid semester.
Mornings at our house are chaos. Chaos. I have no idea how this chaos rates on a chaos scale, if everyones house is chaotic in the morning, but I know that our mornings sure are. And that the word “chaos” is starting to look really funny. Some mornings the elderly dog craps on the floor. Some mornings Beanie dumps out multiple boxes of pasta. Some mornings I forget my tea, my lunch, my gym clothes, my homework, Jolene’s coat. Some mornings I carry Jolene up the stairs 7 times until I remember what on earth I was going up stairs to get anyway. Some mornings its all of the above but no mornings is it none of the above. I am not sure when the chaos started, but its been pretty constant the last couple of months and has correstponded with a lot of behavioral craziness from Beans. She’s nearly two (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), I get it. This is what toddlers do, but every morning it is a struggle to get her in her chair, get a bib on her, find something that she will eat without gifting it to the dog via the floor. Somehow, I have never seen these things as connected, that her clingy, obstructionist behavior could be due to the hurricane that is three adults trying to get out the door. I made the connection a night or two ago, and suddenly it all makes sense. Yes, she is a toddler, but she is also watching her family for cues and when she sees them grumping about who finished the coffee or yelling at the dog, she takes that on. So I have been thinking about how to make mornings smoother and here are some things I came up with…
1. Get everything, everything ready the night before. This is kind of obvious, but I still don’t do it. I spend over 15 minutes thinking about mine and her outfits in the morning, which is a big waste of time. Lay out outfits, diapers, coffee/tea, lunch, keys, school bag, coats EVERYTHING the night before and just DO IT even if you want to blow everything off and watch Scandal instead. But I wouldn’t know anything about that.
2. Wake up before the little one. This is really hard (and depends on getting to bed on time) but even ten minutes with no kid in the morning gives me a little time to get dressed, start breakfast, do my hair, get ahead in some tiny way.
3. I don’t need to be at school until ten, but I get stressed out if I leave anytime after 8 (I have a half hour commute). This time I have right now before class is nice, but not necessary, not worth yelling over. If you can (I’m not sure why I am saying you, am I giving advice? You probably shouldn’t listen to my advice…) schedule class/work (i know this isn’t usually how work works) late enough so that you have a solid amount of time to get out the door.
4. Take a minute to do something fun. I know a 3 minute dance party seems like the last thing you have time for in the morning, but Beanie cannot focus on getting ready for a solid hour. Taking a break from getting ready to read a book or relax for less than 5 minutes really doesn’t change your overall time, but it makes you feel relaxed and happier getting out the door.
I have two hours before my final stats exam and somehow this is the best possible time I have had all semester to write a little bloggy thought.
and by that i mean this selfie because it took me 15 minutes to take and post it probably because I have a million baby pictures on this computer i cant bring myself to delete even though Ive backed them up because im not so sure about technology. so greetings from finals, its as bad as you remember.
And okay okay for baby love watch this… I know you don’t come here for my library selfies anyway.
Mama: Beanie, what kind of tea do you want?
Jolene: Royal tea!
As one of my besties recently pointed out, this kid is better dressed her, me and probably you combined, so I figured I’d do some fashion bloggin. So heres what Beanie wore…
Poncho/sweater: hand knitted by my immensely talented friend Mari
dress: GAP (thrifted)
tights: Hannah Anderson (thrifted)
sneaks: Nike (thrifted)
whos the cry baby now?? i owe you guys a real post….
The other day I was thinking how funny it would be to start a blog about being a single parent to a toddler while trying to get a BA, but just leave the whole blog blank because I have no time to blog and then I thought hahahahahah oh right I already to that. This lovely blog. I am so very fond of it, but it is not tumblr and it is not easy peasy reblogging.
Here I am again, a month and a half into my first semester of taking four classes and whew oh lord its kicking my butt. I’ve had this fabulous plan so far to commute to school, get everything done and come home and be a parent and go to bed early and again, hahahahahahahahaa yeah right. I try I really do, but 4 classes over 3 eats so much time out of the day and I am SPRINTING through the day, desperately trying to do my library time, eat something for lunch that isn’t instant noodles (so far the best I am doing is instant noodles with kale) and get to the gym.
The time I have with Beanie during the week sometimes feels like crusts (which she still won’t eat btw)… the hard edges of the day that mostly involve routine and negotiating who is really in charge. Its meals, bedtime, getting shoes on, finding socks, forcing on a bib, picking up toys etc. This sounds like complaining, I know, and just now I remembered talking with a woman in my non traditional students program who lives on campus and is three hours away from her eight year old so that she can get her degree. So I suppose the floor cereal sweeping, endless truck book reading, “no you cant have mumma’s cellphone” times are really just so precious.
Speaking of the Bean, toddlerhood is no joke. This girl is a language parrot, dogwalker, a professional dancer, a cook, and class “boss lady” (her current nickname at daycare). We have been loving the warm weather (I’m sorry, I won’t call this an Indian summer, like the lady did in the waiting room at the doctors office… so ironic on Columbus day…) and have spent a lot of weekends and afternoons in the woods, walking in slow motion (backwards sometimes) crunching leaves, throwing acorns, (regrettably) destroying mushrooms and looking at the sky. Today she said “I see yaya”… the other day she said “these baba’s eggs” tomorrow she will say “mother your car sounds like a jet plane” because its true it really does.
Okay early bed time (attempt)… I will blog I will blog I will blog. Heres a shot from the last weekend of September, we spent it in Martha’s Vineyard like a buncha snobs…