was

i was going to write up part one of jolene’s beautiful birth story, because one year ago today i was in labor with her but i am so white hot with range and upset that i have spent much of the last two hours trying to get her to go back to sleep. and again at one and then up at six for the day. i am perpetually exhausted. i have no idea if this is typical- do any one year olds sleep through the night? i dont want to sleep train i don’t want to sleep train i don’t want to sleep train (i cant start sleep training because bean is sick) but i dont want to co sleep and i can’t keep waking up in the night, grinding my teeth from frustration, pacing, bouncing, singing, nursing and eventually just putting her back down because i am too worked up feel safe holding her. 

 

maybe this is like labor (isn’t all life?)… this too shall pass this too shall pass… 

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