big feet and the not mummy parts (…band name?)

I am on vacation! You can tell because my feet are dirty, my hands smell like fish emulsion, and I am in my PJs! I spent the WHOLE DAY with Bean today. We stayed in bed and read, took a long walk, took a long nap, went to her 6 month well baby appointment, bought fish oil at the grocery store because I ran out about a month ago (also how is it possible that I have already mentioned fish twice in this post) and then she fell asleep on me and I wandered through Marshalls staring at sandals. They have really great sandals, for anyone whose feet haven’t grown a half-size in the last year. That thing about your feet growing and not getting smaller when you get pregnant… sadly true. Not that there is anything wrong with big feet, but I am 5’4″, I’m not sure I can handle a size 10 feet. It was the best day I’ve had in a long time.


Jolene has been 6 months for a couple of days and usually I write her page in her baby book on the 16th of every month (usually around 11:40 at night…just under the wire) but I feel at a bit of a loss for this one. It’s big. Half of her first year on planet Earth is behind us (well not behind us like we dropped it… we are just carrying it in our pockets always) and we both know it. From about 3 months to 5 1/2 months, Jolene (and I think other babies, or so I’ve read) spent a lot of time in really intense, one on one social interaction. I could lay her down on my knees (“mommy mountain”) and we would just stare and coo and smile at each other pretty much indefinitely. It’s different now. And it isn’t simply that she realizes how brilliant the world besides her mum is, that happened a couple months ago. I think she has suddenly realized, on some level, her own agency in that brilliant world. Even the hairbrush lying a foot away has potential to be in her mouth  after a few minutes of belly pivoting and army crawling.

And although she loves me (usually when she needs something ahem), she often prefers to explore the not mummy parts of the word (except during our raspberry blowing contests). Like tonight… I was attempting to read her Goodnight Moon and she was fussing and moaning and grabbing it from me so I gave in and let her have it. She flipped onto her belly and turned away and proceeded to chew on it in her own space. This parenting thing is just letting go and letting go and letting go….


Aaaand just when you think that baby is asleep for good, she isn’t anymore…



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