The last two weeks have been the most joy filled, affectionate, cozy, and shining of my life. I suppose it might get easier to put words to this colossal love that I feel pretty much round the clock but as of now, I am simply bursting at the seams with it all. This feeling is also rather literal because I think my breasts might explode.
Where to begin?? I am working on a version of Jolene’s birth story that I hope to post… it seems the place to start these kind of things. Its hard to believe that only two weeks ago today, we were lying in the hospital bed wet beaming into the night. Sometimes I look down at her wise face and it feels like we’ve known each other for decades and then sometimes I am overwhelmed by the feeling that I have no idea who this little human being is. Both feelings are equally inspiring.
Here are a few things I have learned about this girl over our sweet in house honeymoon (I have gone outside about 5 times).
This girl is wide awake
When she isn’t sleeping. But damn. Her presence was a little disarming. When she was born, the nurses put her up on my chest and she stared right at me. I expected real young babies to be in “I only notice black and white shapes and my own farts” lala land but Jolene is right there.
She’s really good at just being
Maybe this is a lot of being a baby, but she is really good at just hanging out. I think I just got really lucky because she doesn’t constantly need something. If shes just been fed and her diaper is dry, her is pretty content to hang out on your lap and make adorable faces at you for an hour or so. Really cool.
Its not just that she pooped all over her Bompi (grandpa) and really super adorable outfit at her Welcome to the World party (last weekend, shared with her Uncle Myles who just came back from India!)- she just has this fantastic sense of humor. Its the goofy faces, the timing (sleeps all afternoon, but the minute mama starts dinner she decides its time to wake up and eat her dinner), just her attitude.
She digs Bon Iver
At some point I will get into The Great Nursing Wars (in which Jolene has fought gallantly) but I will say now that for the first week and a half of her life, the only music Jolene would nurse to is Bon Iver. Good girl.
She’s the new Stubbornest Girl in the Universe
When I was three my family and I were walking back to the car across the beach and I insisted on walking back on all fours with my head plowing the sand, my dad walking behind me directing “a little to the left, a little to the right…” At when we got back to the car he told me “boy Cecilia, you are the stubbornest girl in the world.” I look up at him and reply “the universe, dad.” I would like to formally pass on the crown. Dang Jolene girl, you do things your own way at your own pace. Thats my daughter man. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
DID I MENTION SHE’S A TOTAL KNOCKOUT???
It might not mean much coming from her mama, but this little one is beautiful.
I don’t know how new moms blog. Its like tech week all the time over here. The days are long, but then they’re over and its like wow…did I do anything besides feed Jolene? I have never felt so grateful to have such an amazing, supportive family. It sure does take a village. Crazy, exhausting, poopy, but overall, as Lana Del Rey would say… now my life is sweet like cinnamon. (I don’t care what anyone says about her/ how much she blew it on SNL. She fucking rocks). I think I’m going to try to clean up a bit before my little bird wakes up because it looks like a bomb went off in here.
…dang I am a lucky woman.